Laconic humor was the term invented specifically to describe the dry, biting wit of the Spartan people. We personally think it’s a little unfair that pop culture has mainly portrayed the Spartans as a bunch of ass-kicking, throat-ripping slabs of beef. Though that description is entirely correct, it ignores the fact that the Spartan’s were also masters of verbal combat along with the regular, sweaty kind.
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Text version: http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-witty-badass-quotes-ancient-sparta.php
10. “What Splendid Women’s Quarters”
9. “These Are Sparta’s Walls”
8. “Come and Take Them”
5. “With It or On It!”
4. “It Will Be the Size of a Lion When I Bore Down On My Enemies.”
3. “Dig It Out For Yourselves”
2. “So That We May Get Close to the Enemy”
1. “Because We are Also the Only Ones Who Give Birth to Men”
Whenever I'm feeling down, I like to fantasize about Michael Fassbender, wearing a red cape and tight briefs chasing me around my house with his sword in his hand yelling "This is Sparta!" Cheers me up every time.
"If" "Come and take them/Molon labe" - My favorite Laconic phrases ever.
Additional phrases I know:
"As far as this can reach." - Spartan king Agesilaus II's response to someone asking him how far Sparta's borders are by thrusting his spear.
When Demetrius I of Macedon asked, "have the Lacedemonians sent no more than one ambassador?!" in reaction to the Spartans sending only one envoy, the Spartan envoy replies, "aye, one ambassador to one king."
"Not how many, but where" is one of the manliest quotes not included here. Spartans never asked how many were the enemies, only where to find them. Another one I like is the reply given (at least in two occasions) from Spartans to their rivals when they told them "Many Spartans lie dead at the borders of Athens/Argos (these two cities were their main rivals)" . Spartans replied "but none of yours at the borders of Sparta" implying of course that they didnt EVEN DARE to invade Sparta!
Having city walls is still important no matter how badass your soldiers are because let’s say one of your soldiers is dozing off at his post and some guys try to sneak in, a wall will still keep them out regardless but without a wall they would get past easily
To be fair. Philip could have easily done so. It was just that he was fielding the armies of every other Greece state already, Sparta was incredibly small, and had his eyes on the East.
A couple deaths later a 20 year old Alexander got on the throne inheriting the finest army the world had every known. One made by his father Philip.
I always thought "If" was easily the best Spartan quote, not only for its context but could anything possibly be more Laconic? lol
I suppose "Neither" falls into the same category, but "If" is about as minimalist a message as I think can possibly be sent.
During the morning before the battle of Platees the Greek leadership gathered and argued whether they should fight today or wait for the next day. The leaders cast votes. These who wanted to fight would throw a small dark pebble in the middle of the ground, those who wanted to wait a white one. A Spartan officer (not Pausanias the Spartan King) threw a huge dark rock that smashed and scattered the pebbles and said "δια ταύτης ψήφου πολεμάμε" ("with thos vote we fight")
The Hellenic ancient world that is those who spoken Hellenic (Greek) consisted kingdoms, and democratic city states. Macedon and Sparta were Kingdoms on the other hand Athens was democracy but all of them could participated in Olympic games since 776 BC because they were not Barbarians but Hellenes (Greeks)
You forgot another very cool one. Upon being told that the Persian archers were so numerous that when they shot their volleys, their arrows would blot out the sun. The Spartan Dienekes responded, “So much the better, we'll fight in the shade”.
If the Spartans had survived to the gunpowder age, I can imagine them taunting a foe by holding their guns (stolen from their enemy) and say "Hah! You want these back? Come and get them!"
(Fun fact: The Pipil people who inhabited what is modern day El Salvador actually did stole some Spanish guns during a battle, and later taunted the Spaniards with a similar response.)
Persians would send an envoy demanding earth and water as symbols of subservience, and they did indeed send an envoy to Sparta. Greece was not a single country, so envoys would visit every city state. I would suggest further study from actual books before commenting next time.
Unfortunately the Spartans were raised to rape each other and were considered apalling perverts by most other kingdoms of Greece. Oh yeah, and a Thespian general once whooped the shit out of a Spartan general though outnumbered. Also at the famed battle of Thermopolia where the 300 Spartans took thier stand there were also 600-900 warriors from other Greek kingdoms present. In addition 600 Athenian ships destroyed 20,000 Persian ships! The Persian's must have been cursed for holding captive the Israelites, I don't see how so many could be defeated by so few otherwise. The Spartans get all the credit because of Leonidas being the ground war general in the battle.
What do you call a Spartan who, first, you call a coward, second, then tell him you will sleep with his sister, and third, while you are spitting into his face? Answer: You call him, the Guy Who Beat the Living S**t Out Of You.
Is Greek. Dias (Zeus) = Dione for female. Daughter of Uranus (Sky) and Gaia (Earth). Mother of Aphrodite in Homer Iliad. The meaning of that name is.. Goddess. The singer Celine Dion (Moon Goddess) have your name. Celine or Seline = Moon
thanks for the vids! btw, imho, molon labe is the greatest quote ever! (not just among spartan quotes but EVER, period).
that is the true definition of what it is to be laconic (you shuda mentioned this word in the vid btw) =)
10:THIS IS SPARTA!!!
9: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
8: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
7: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
6: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
5: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
4: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
3: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
2: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
1: THIS IS SPARTA!!!
That's why I think "If" is the best quote to represent the Spartans... It's badass, clever, dares the recipient to try them, horribly burns the recipient, and is quite possibly the single most minimalistic (as in laconic) message I've ever heard sent from one person to another lol
How you could capture all of that in two letters wowed me when I first heard it as a kid, and I'm still impressed today.
I'm pretty sure that Gorgo's quote was meant as a slight to pretty much everyone not Spartan.
It seems to me that she is saying only Spartan women can rule men because only they give birth to Spartans.
The only real men as she sees it.
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