"In Salsa Dancing (and Marriage) Men Lead, Women Shine"
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My wife and I decided to give Salsa dancing a try about a year ago and while I didn't exactly get all the moves right I did learn how to have a stronger and better marriage. And that made it all worthwhile.
Watching Eddie and Maria Torres on videos or Felipe Polanco, some of the best dancers in the world is awe-inspiring. They make it look SO easy and having tried to get in rhythm with the one-and-two-and-five-four-eight it's amazing to see.
One of the key things we learned, after stumbling over my feet and stepping on my wife's feet, was that to be successful both as a salsa dancer and in our marriage the leader had to lead and the follower follow.
A long time dancer and friend of ours told us in salsa, "Men lead and women shine."
I remember as a younger husband being hesitant to take the lead role in our marriage and our marriage didn't grow because of it.
The bible is really clear when it says in Ephesians
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5:22--24)
This drives sooo many people crazy. The idea of a women willing submitting to a man in after the feminist movement (*****) began in the 70s is upsetting to say the least to many.
About 15 years ago I remember doing a wedding for a friend of mine and this verse as a sticking point for the bride to be.
I had to pull out a Greek dictionary to show her that submitting, following in a biblical marriage, doesn't mean you're LESS than the one you're following.
She agreed and the ceremony went as planned.
One week later though I got an angry, anonymous letter, upset that I included the word "Submit" in the ceremony.
"How could you," they continued, "suggest that men are superior to women?" That was my first experience with the emotional plastic explosives that is this verse.
First, that's SO not what I said. Secondly, as a matter of fact, MY wife is superior to me. She's smarter, better educated, prettier, and more godly. That's not the point.
Men lead and women shine. It's what the bible says to do. If your system works then stick with it.
This has everything to do with a smoothly, flowing, beautifully harmonious DANCE.
Marriage is not supposed to be a contentious battle of wills.
One well-known salsa instructor says that for great dance to occur, "your partner must be everything. That's your focus. Whether it be leading OR following, it's the focus on your partner" that creates great dances.
FYI— it creates great marriage, too. Know your role and treat your partner as everything. When that happens, men you can lead and women you can shine.
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